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Norfolk, Microsoft, CrowdStrike and Delta: “People of the United State of America v HorsePucky Et Al.’’

August 9, 2024 by Leticia Matlock
Image: Alamy

Lawyers have won verdicts on the notion that “A laughing jury never convicts.” But not everyone will be ‘laughing all the way to the bank’! 🙂     

David Boies, I hear you have your hands full with Delta. Striking the ‘Crowd’ should come easy, especially after successfully softening up Billy’s Micro in the late 90s for the Feds. Except now a former Fed (FBI) heads CrowdStrike.

And little micro is now ‘BIG’ MICROSOFT. Crowd, better let the BIG guy run interference.

Funny, speaking of antitrust, Microsoft, are you aware that back in February Reuters reported that the Department of Transportation (DOT) ‘had tentatively decided not to renew Delta’s antitrust immunity agreement covering its partnership at Aeromexico’? Hmm, ‘bargaining CHIP’?

Deadline is October 26th says the DOT. Mexico, if you can control this ‘seven-year itch,’ you may have the power to leverage a new deal in your interest. Boe aircraft not doing so good. Mexico, extender el plazo a Delta hasta el ‘Día de Muertos’ in 2025?  

Delta, looks like DOTs been a ‘thorn on your side.’ “Delta said fares would increase and ‘$800 million in annual consumer benefits would evaporate.’ To make matters worse, the BBC says “Delta has since been hit by a class-action lawsuit filed on behalf of affected passengers.”

Not the only one. “CrowdStrike has since been sued by its shareholders, who accused the company of making “false and misleading” statements.”

Microsoft, given Delta’s projected losses, it’s gonna need cash flow. Has it set its sights on ‘deep pockets’?  

Even so, I hear from The Verge that “Like CrowdStrike, Microsoft is also asking Delta to preserve documents related to the CrowdStrike outage…”

David, didn’t your firm use similar tactics against whistleblowers when defending the bloody wench? Amazing the power of intimidation from just a few words on a page of letterhead 🙂

Amtrak, speaking of lawsuits, I heard DOJ is going after a broken down ‘horse’ blocking the tracks! “Justice Department Files Complaint Against Norfolk Southern to Stop Amtrak Passenger Train Delays.” But neither DOJ nor DOT can do a thing but complain and investigate.

Image: Nick Hagen.Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

HorsePucky, time to clear the tracks! Need a real Cowboy to put this horse out of its misery! Seems fitting to bring on board a POWER ATTORNEY and make a ‘federal case.’

David, I applauded your words a decade ago on making ‘hard choices.’ Recall that September 21, 2018 interview with New York Times’ James B. Stewart? “I’m proud to be a lawyer and to serve the justice system…protects the weak and limits the strong.”

So, let’s ‘limit the strong.’ But, you’ll need to make another hard choice. Decide if you’re in it for the chase or if it’s ‘the kill’ you want. 

As to the ‘letter of the law’ you say, “there is no basis – none – to suggest that Delta was in any way responsible for the faulty software that crashed systems around the world.”

Counselor, in the ‘spirit of the law, this ‘mock trial’ may help serve justice and rein in a ‘runaway horse’!  

“People of the United State of America v ‘HorsePucky”

Opening Statement: The Defendant is charged with ‘putting the carriage before the horse’ causing train derailments and passenger delays. HorsePucky’s actions exhibit a pattern of reckless endangerment and disregard for the law. It has no Defense!

I would like to mark and enter into Evidence the following:

Ex. A – NTSB Final Report points to ‘overheated wheel bearings are a common cause of rail accidents’ adding as a safety issue ‘the continued use of DOT-111 tank cars.’

Ex. B – DOJ complaint filing: “Federal law requires Norfolk Southern to give Amtrak passenger trains preference over freight trains. The complaint alleges that Norfolk Southern regularly fails to do so, leading to widespread delays that harm and inconvenience train passengers, negatively affect Amtrak’s financial performance, and impede passenger rail transportation.”

Ex. C and D – Defendant’s two separate statements:

Ex. C – “We are committed to complying with the law, working together, and honoring our commitments.”

Ex. D – “$600 million settlement underscores commitment to making it right. This agreement does not include or constitute any admission of liability, wrongdoing, or fault.”

Closing Argument: Defendant has a ‘track’ record of negligence, failing to take full responsibility. Nothing ‘right’ about fixed races and easy payouts.  

HorsePucky repeatedly fails to abide to its ‘commitments’ rendering no “admission of liability, wrongdoing, or fault.” Its’ partaking in protracted unmitigated risk to the public and industries relying on the safe transport of their products can be construed as hazardous ‘irrational exuberance.’  

Judge: Will the Defendant please rise.

Has the Jury reached a verdict?

Jury: We have your Honor. We find the Defendant, HorsePucky, guilty of being a horses’ ass!

Judge: HorsePucky, do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?

HorsePucky: Mercy, ‘don’t beat a dead horse’!

Judge: HorsePucky, I sentence you as charged! You are to be ‘committed” serving life in a Federal Penile Institution with the other corralled ‘runaway horses’! 🙂

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